Jonny & I have just finished our first 'pre-marriage' book - 'Married for God', which was given to us by some friends who happened to have gotten engaged the week before us, and are in fact getting married the week before us too! We have quite the list of marital books to get through, but we decided to start with this one!
This book comes HIGHLY recommended by me - I genuinely would give it 5 stars. It covers everything from communication, to sex, to finances, to children!! The way Ash writes is very thought provoking, and conversation stimulating!! I really love how each chapter is followed by questions for discussion. Those questions have got Jonny & I talking about things we had never considered discussing before.
In this book, Ash's recurring theme is 'Sex in the service of God' and He explains throughout the book how we are able to glorify God in every area of our marriage. Our desire as Christians should be that our marriage serves God, I know that Jonny and I desire this with all of our hearts, we want our marriage to serve and honour Him and we want it to be a ministry in and of itself - if our marriage is fulfilling for us personally, and sexually, that's great... but unless it serves God, it wont be right. His writing is so biblically drenched, and his perspective of marriage and sex is hinged on how God gave man & woman to each other for a purpose, that being that we are in a relationship to help one another. He reminds us that relationships are not about curing our loneliness or satisfying our sexual needs. He veers us away from the commonly accepted misconception in society today, where we are the centre of our relationship, and its all about us and our needs. Relationships are not the solution to our unhappiness and loneliness! Ash doesn't let us forget that way back in Genesis, God gave Eve to Adam, not as a companion, but as a helper. Its not 'Sex in the service of me' - its 'Sex in the service of God!'
Ash talks about how Gods intention for us within sex, was to procreate, and he speaks about this a great deal... and he covers some of the changes we will be faced with when children come along. He is very direct in helping us to understand that ultimately, that is the point of sex - But, he doesn't neglect to address people who are unable to have children, and he even speaks a fair bit on singleness, and how it is better for some. Also covered are the reasons why sex was intended only for those within marriage...not outside of marriage - he calls sex outside of marriage 'sex under law' - and Ash goes in depth with this, explaining that sex within marriage is free from anxiety.
This book covers sex ALOT! Much to the disdain of my 'conservatively British' husband-to-be who would much rather not talk about it! But for that very reason, this book has been awesome! Its taken us out of our comfort zone several times!
If I were to pick a chapter that I found most helpful however, it would be the chapter that tackled finances. It made me think on things I never had before... and got us to answer questions about the financial state of our childhoods and what our thoughts on money are and how we handle finances...I have a much better understanding on how Jonny views money, and we have a better idea of how we will deal with our differences when it comes to finances.
Whether your'e single, engaged, newly wed or even 30 years into marriage - you can glean something from this book. It is well written, practical, biblical & very helpful! Nab it now!
